Leuzinger High School Class of 1981
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Vivian M De Los Santos-Martin - Class of 1969
July 06, 1951 - January 29, 2020

'She was my best Gift,
I didn’t know it at the time,
as a little girl, we never really do
But as a I grew up
Her love became a hug I could always count on
Her support and pride in me and mine
a quiet source of strength

She connected me to him
A bridge

She was a best Decision
My dad’s
She made his life better, she made him better
He was a better dad with her by his side
He was a better Papa to my children
because she was their Grandma.

She was a best Giver.
The times I can think of when I felt upset with her
it was because she was doing too much for others
not practicing this current fancy of self-care
Too generous
spending too much time, too much money, too much stress
on friends, on coworkers, on family, on me.
A best fault, truly

She was the Center of the Wheel
The history, the culture of Family, Friends, Music, Special places
She held it for us
She cherished it for us
She shared it with us
She connected us to it and to each other
She was the edges of the puzzle
And held us together

Who now?

The past year many of those who loved her most
Were angry
Angry at her illness, angry at her and our inability
To find a way to beat it
Angry seeing her vivaciousness and sass slip into acceptance.
A nurse told me, “She’s not a complainer.”
I wanted to cry back. “Yes, she is! She is a fighter!... She was.”
I think I knew then that we would lose her.

On my last visit
I saw the most beautiful moment
Between her and her baby sister
Almost normal, in its quiet and calm
I rubbed her feet, she always loved that
I closed my eyes and kissed her cheek
and breathed her in
And it was still sweet Shalimar in my mind

One of the last times I spent with her
She gazed at me with such intent and said my name,
she held my gaze and
I held her hand and stroked her head
I later tried to put into words an understanding of that moment
Something had been missing
If felt like she looked at me with
the eyes of a baby
And I understood
I will treasure that look in my memory
And believe it was Pure Love I saw

That is what I will remember
Her pure love.

She is my greatest Loss' ~ Pamela Martin Conner, Daughter

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'My dad (Dave Martin) is not on Facebook, but I have been sharing with him your posts and comments about the woman he loved for the past 45 years. They bring him to tears and he is appreciative of the love you have for her. He asked me to share his sentiments with you.' ~ ~ Pamela Martin Conner

*************

'Very sad day today. My nerves are taking a toll today. Worrying about my wife being ill since Xmas and now today my younger sister left to be with my mom and dad, and the older siblings. It just don't seem right that she gets to go before me and my 3 sisters above me. Going to miss her a lot. I love you Vee. Your brother Boy.' ~ Greg De Los Santos

*************

'My Auntie Vee left us, and I lost a huge piece of my heart. I waited to post, because to say it is to admit it and I didn’t want to accept that it was real. You can’t unring that bell. But it is real, and I take comfort knowing she’s at peace and no longer in pain. Auntie Vee was my Auntie Mame. As a kid growing up in the Central Coast, she represented the world and glamorous LA, sweeping in with her signature red nails, gold Hawaiian jewelry, colorful prints, endless hugs and kisses, and the unmistakable scent of Shalimar lingering in her wake. As a kid, my parents gave me the choice between Disneyland and a birthday party every year, and every year I chose Disneyland because I knew Auntie Vee would throw me a party at her house anyway. When I moved back to LA, Auntie Vee was my home away from home; every Sunday when I was a broke college student, she took me to Costco, fed me, and let me do my laundry. When I was a broke graduate, she always shoved $20 in my pocket as I left the house to make sure I had gas money. She introduced me to soul music and taught me how to make comfort food. When I came out to her, she was annoyed that I even considered she’d be upset, and teased me for always “discovering” gay bars that she and her friends had partied at decades before. Auntie Vee was everyone’s favorite aunt, and my friends became her own nieces and nephews. She was so much fun; she was the hub that kept our massive family together. I’m closer to my cousins and aunts because of the work she did to make sure there were always opportunities for us to get together. After Christmas, I was annoyed because I discovered a large order of sweets and Hawaiian goodies in her room - items that had been off-limits for health reasons. I later learned most of them were gifts for her nurses and caregivers, all of whom loved “Miss Vivian from Hawaii.” I miss you, Auntie Vee. I’m a better man because you were my aunt. I can’t believe you’re gone, but I’m so thankful for your unconditional love and endless generosity; for always being there for me; and for being the best example for how to love my own nieces and nephews. You were a force and I’ll never forget you.' ~ Nephew Jason Marcos.

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A Celebration of Life gathering in honor of Vivian Martin (Auntie Vee) has taken place on Saturday, February 15, 2020 at the Happa Restaurant at the New Gardena Hotel. It was well-attended by many family members and friends who loved her dearly. Aloha Vivian, RIP.

Posted By: Terry Poublon '81 - 04-18-2020
Views: 984





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